There were two girls who lived in a house, and had lived in
the house for as long as anyone knew or cared to know. The first girl was
impossibly tall, with forever-long curly hair and features that took up every
inch of her face. The second girl was impossibly small (though still with a
commanding presence). The small girl had delicate hands and feet, and she had a
surprising strength that made her the resident jar-opener of the house.
The girls loved the house they lived in, and they loved that
they lived there together. The house was big and blue, and had the wonderful
quality of making a person, and especially the girls, feel instantly at home.
There were two big bedrooms, each with two walls of windows. The house had
enough closet space to keep the house from getting overly cluttered, but not so
much that the girls were allowed to hold on to too many useless clothes and
shoes. The best part of the whole beautiful blue house was its perfect and pink
bathroom. The pink bathroom was large and light and had everything and more
that was necessary for two girls who maintained important skin regimes and
enjoyed long baths.
After the two girls spent many years in the house, it was
time for the tall girl to move. She had dreams and she could no longer be
fulfilled in the house. If she could, she would move the house with her. Since
that was impossible, she simply left one day, so that she could grow into the
person she wanted to be.
The small girl was very strong, but not strong enough to
live in the blue house and brush her teeth in the pink bathroom without her
tall friend. She had dreams of her own to find, so she too had to leave the
house too.
The house now stands alone. There are no girls small or tall
living inside.
Authors note:
This retelling is based on a song:
There were two birds sat on a stone,
Fa, la, la, la, lal, de;One flew away, and then there was one,
Fa, la, la, la, lal, de;
The other flew after, and then there was none,
Fa, la, la, la, lal, de;
And so the poor stone was left all alone,
Fa, la, la, la, lal, de!
The Nursery Rhyme Book, author unknown, released 2008
Image information: My own personal image of a home
Hi Alexandra! I really liked your retelling of the song. I thought it was a good choice to make it about two girls, that gave you a lot of options on descriptions and other features. The house description was also well done, I too would enjoy a large bathroom for bath tub soaking! The only constructive criticism I might add is that in the song it is as though the stone is alive and very sad that the two birds left it, and in your story the house does not seem upset. Still a great story and a beautiful picture. The lighting was perfect and fit the story really well!
ReplyDeleteHey!! You're retelling of the song was very creative! I liked that you chose two girls as your main characters and I also enjoyed that you used very descriptive details to describe them (such as impossibly tall and impossibly small). I would have had a hard time trying to come up with something to retell the story of the song, but I think you did a great job!
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed the phrase "resident jar-opener." It made me laugh. I like how your spin of the story completely changes the character. Instead of two birds on a stone, the story includes two girls in a house. I wonder if the small girl will meet up with her tall friend in the future. Good job with the story.
ReplyDeleteThis story was great! It was a little sad, but I really liked it! I also liked that you changed the characters from the original rhyme from birds to being humans in your story! That was a great added detail! Where is your author's note on describing how you came up with this story? I would love to read more about what inspired you to write it! Overall, great job!
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